It's Just A Lesson
by isaacswolfsbane
Summary: "I can't do it," I whisper to myself, panting, back pressed against the wall just inside the bathroom.


**QLFC Round 3 – Truth or Dare;  
** Cannons, Captain – Write about a character confessing a Truth OR write about a character Daring him/herself to face his/her fears. (I kind of did both)

 **AN:** I'd just like to point out before you start that everything in italics happens in the past, and everything else is in the present. I realise it may get a little confusing for some people, so I thought I'd clear that up before it happens.

Thank you to Mary, Mags, and Sarah for betaing :)

* * *

 **It's Just A Lesson**

" _I can't do it," I whisper to myself, panting, back pressed against the wall just inside the bathroom._

 _._

This isn't the first time I've run away from a situation I found terrifying. If there's anything you can say for certain about Emily Harraway, it's that there isn't an inch of bravery within me.

 _._

 _I press my arms to my chest, trying to stop myself from shaking. The memory of Teddy getting a detention two days before is fresh in my mind. It was only the first day; how could anyone give out detentions on the first day?_

 _I stand there, unable to will myself to move, for what seems like an eternity. When I finally manage to, I glance at my watch and see that almost the entire lesson has passed._

 _Pulling myself away from the wall, I make my way over to a sink, feet moving far slower than I want them to. When I finally get there, I splash my face with water, willing myself to lose the look of panic that's clear on my face._

.

I'm not saying I run away from everything that scares me (although every time I go to the dentist I do get the urge to physically bolt from the chair), but more often than not I'll find a way around the situation.

 _._

 _The bell rings and I slowly make my way down to the Great Hall for lunch. My eyes scan the corridors for the face I hope not to run into. I make it down in one piece and, as I slide into a seat at the Hufflepuff table, I'm instantly bombarded by Teddy Lupin._

" _Where were you?" he asks. The worry in his voice sends a pang of regret through my chest._

" _I wasn't feeling very well," I say, the lie coming more easily than I expected it to. "I went up to the Hospital Wing for some Pepper-Up Potion."_

" _Is everything okay?" he asks. "Has something happened? Do you need to go down to the dormitories and rest? I'm sure the professors won't mind."_

" _Teddy, relax," I say with a laugh. "I'm just coming down with a cold. It's nothing to worry about."_

.

I pace across the common room a few times in an attempt to get some of the nervous energy out of my system. I can't believe I've let myself fall this deep into my own fear; before I started Hogwarts, I'd never so much as been late to a lesson, and now I've managed to skip the same one for three weeks.

 _._

 _The rest of the day passes agonisingly slowly. My brain is going at a hundred miles an hour as I try to concentrate on lessons, building friendships, and keeping an eye out for the towering presence that has plagued my dreams for the last two nights. I almost make it to the end of the day without incident, but as I return to the common room from dinner, I pass her; her face is stern and disapproving, posture perfect in a way that screams that she's better than me. It takes everything I have to make myself keep walking instead of shrinking into the shadows._

.

"You can do this, Emily. Nothing bad is going to happen to you; it's just a normal lesson." I repeat this over and over, willing myself to believe it.

 _._

 _The following week is a similar story._

" _Hey, I'm just going to the toilet," I tell Teddy as we leave Charms. "I'll see you in lesson."_

" _Sure," Teddy says, and carries on, starting up a conversation with a Ravenclaw I haven't learnt the name of yet._

 _I walk in the opposite direction and slip into the nearest bathroom, despite the fact that I have no intention of actually using the toilet. I stare at the hands ticking slowly around the face of my watch until fifteen minutes has passed and I'm certain nobody will be roaming the halls. I slip out into the corridor and hurry back down to the common room. If anyone asks, I'll tell them I wasn't feeling well again, or I left one of my books in the dormitory._

 _Luckily, I don't see anyone and I make it back into the common room easily. I settle myself down in front of the fire with my textbook—just because I'm not in lesson, doesn't mean I can't learn._

.

"Em, are you okay?"

Teddy's voice drags me out of my thoughts and I stand still.

"I…" I falter, struggling to find the words. "I'm just a little nervous, I guess."

"You'll be fine; it's only going to lesson."

A dry laugh escapes my lips. "I've been telling myself that all morning."

"Well, it's true."

I sigh. "I know, I know. I'll be fine. It's just… facing my fears is a lot harder than I expected," I confess. "Not that you'd know; you act like a Gryffindor most of the time."

Teddy laughs and I feel myself relaxing slightly, knowing he'll be with me every step of the way.

 _._

 _The bell rings to signal the end of the lesson, and I'm suddenly aware that I have to move or someone will question what I'm doing here._

 _I gather up my belongings and dash out of the door, panicking as I hear the footsteps of Hufflepuff students coming to exchange their morning lesson textbooks for the ones they need that afternoon. My feet are still taking me forwards, and I suddenly remember something Teddy told me the other day; tickling the pear gets you into the kitchens._

 _I find the painting of the fruit bowl, tickle the pear, and step into the kitchen. I'm greeted by a scene that is far more orderly than I expected. There is a house elf stood on a tall chair at one end of the room giving orders to the sea of elves moving food onto the tables perfectly aligned with the house tables in the room above them._

" _Is there something Almond can help you with, Miss?" a voice squeaks below me. I look down and see a house elf staring up at me. "We is very busy, Miss. Almond is sorry there is not more of us to aid you, Miss."_

" _Would it be okay if I ate my lunch in here, Almond?" I ask. The house elf looks up at me uncertainly so I explain, "There are too many people in the Great Hall; I get nervous eating up there."_

 _Almond nods and leads me over to a small table at the opposite end of the room to the head elf while a second elf brings over a plate filled with a selection of different types of food._

" _Thank you very much," I tell the elves. They bow before getting back to their work._

.

My breath catches in my throat as I wait with Teddy outside the classroom door.

"I can't do it," I whisper to him. I can feel my heart beating faster and my face growing red.

He takes my hand in his and gives it a squeeze. "I believe in you, Em."

I'm surprised at how easily he's able to say that, and one look at his face tells me his words are sincere.

"Thank you." I squeeze his hand back and smile weakly just as the door opens.

His hand moves from mine to the small of my back, gently prompting me to move forward as we enter the classroom and sink into a pair of seats near the back.

I gulp as I see her stood at the front of the room, her presence filling every crevice, casting the room into silence.

 _._

 _The next time, I go straight to the kitchen instead of the common room. I tell Almond I'm interested in seeing how the elves work together, that I'm amazed by how efficient they are. This earns me a pride-filled smile, and the plate of food he brings me for lunch more extravagant than last time._

 _I fall into an easy ritual; I slip away from Teddy with a made up excuse, join the house elves in the kitchen until lunch has passed, and I return to my housemates on the way down to the Greenhouses._

 _It's a perfect solution to my fear—until Teddy works out what's going on, that is. He corners me after Charms one morning, refusing to accept that I "left my book in the dormitory" and asks where I'm really going and why I never go to lesson. I reluctantly tell him the truth, that I'm scared, and he tries to drag me with him. It's too sudden, though, and I end up getting so panicked that I need to go to the Hospital Wing._

 _I hate what the fear has done to me, and as I lay in the bed, Madam Pomfrey refusing to let me leave, I decided I need to face my fears, if only because I'm scared of falling too far behind the rest of the year._

.

The bell rings, signalling the end of lesson, and I let out a breath that I feel like I've been holding since I walked into the room. I pack my stuff away and turn to leave when a voice stops me in my tracks.

"Miss Harraway, a word, please."

I stand, frozen, not wanting to see the look of disapproval that's almost certainly on her face.

Teddy gives me an encouraging smile as he passes and whispers, "I'll be right outside the door." It's all I need to turn and face the woman behind me.

I make my way to the front of the room, staring intently at the floor and repeating the words "I'm going to be okay" over and over in my head.

"Miss Harraway, take a seat," she says as I reach the front of the room.

I slide into the chair closest to her and force myself to look up at her face. She doesn't look disapproving and stern, as I had expected. Instead, she wears a look of concern, and it's enough to make tears start flowing.

"I… I…" I stutter, not knowing what I'm trying to say.

She summons another chair and sits next to me, the concern on her face deepening. "Is everything okay?"

"I… I'm sorry, Professor."

"Whatever is the matter, dear?"

"It's just… you… you… you…" I fumble for my words, and thankfully I'm interrupted by a voice behind me.

"She was scared of you, Professor McGonagall," Teddy Lupin explains. "After you gave me a detention on the first day."

I whip my head around at him—partly furious that he revealed my secret and partly relieved that I don't have to confess it myself—and he shoots me an apologetic look.

"Is this true?" she asks. I nod, unable to find my words. "Oh my dear girl," she says, her face softening in a way I'd never imagined it able to. "I never intended to frighten anyone; I merely wanted you to know I was serious about behaving in my lesson."

Teddy stands next to me and squeezes my shoulder, I give him a shaky smile in response before turning to face the source of my greatest fear.

"I'm sorry." I take a deep breath. "I shouldn't have run away like I did."

"See, Em," Teddy said. "I told you she wasn't as scary as she seemed."

Professor McGonagall let out a chuckle. "That's not what you thought as a child."

I hear Teddy gulp, and Professor McGonagall launches into a story about visiting Teddy's family when he was around six or seven and how the boy was so scared he hid behind his godfather all night. I chuckle to myself as I realise that maybe facing my fears isn't such a daunting thing, after all.

* * *

 **Word Count:** 1,963.

* * *

 **AN:** I never write in first person or present tense, so please, please let me know what you think. I'd seriously appreciate any and all feedback on it.

Also, I apologise if the flicking between the past and present confused anyone. I wanted to try something a bit different and I thought it was quite cool while I was writing it.

* * *

 **This is for;**

 _ **The Choose-Your-Wand Challenge;  
**_ _Springy – Write about a Hufflepuff._

 _ **The FRIENDS Competition;  
**_ _Season Three, TOW The Flashback – Write a story with flashbacks._

 _ **The If You Dare Challenge;  
**_ _512 – Fear._


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